Darkness

nothing now here
or over there
in darkness clear
have no fear
no death in night
when love shines so bright

Food For the Moon

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I just read a story about a man who was killed in an avalanche following his passions on Mt. Everest.  You never know when one of those is coming for you. He seemed driven by a deep need to connect with something. I understand that feeling of emptiness. He climbed the world’s highest peaks to fill it. I seek to climb those internal peaks men have dreamed of. Rest in peace Dan.

I want to share a summary of sorts of my experiences with The Tarot. It kind of just presented itself to me after 44 years without one passing thought about it in all that time. It was something gypsies ripped people off with I thought. Little did I know.

I will not go into it more now, but The Tarot is a mystical tool, like the coins of the I Ching, or bones of the medicine man. The cards make a web you can cast out into the Universe to get your current bearing in time and space.

The Tarot helped me attain self knowledge, it helped me learn why I did what I did and also hinted at what is possible for one to become. More than anything it showed me simply what I was. I found ways to let go of regret and desire and see myself honestly. I used the cards as a mirror and I looked at the pictures and felt the words at that given moment and time and sifted myself through the filter of the cards. It helped me grow rapidly using the cards spontaneously and creatively. It showed me the need for balance between the Sun and Moon, Anima and Animus. We live in between these polarities.

It led me to an experience with myself and embracing myself as a Shaman and Mystic. Who knew? The cards aligned so well with my personal esoteric studies and writing and synchronicity made it all real. I’m an experiencer and a gambler, but I learned there need be no gambling.

Life is a mystery and love is the way to understand it. The rest seems to work itself out naturally if you let it.

I found two causes for my suffering, or I should say the Tarot clarified these. It suggested I embrace my life in the world and pay attention. I came to it in deep mediation and wide open with few questions, factors I learned that can contribute to deep insights. These led me to self initiation into many things. Then long dead teachers began teaching me, they are not dead actually, alive in us.

I do not feel like being quiet or keeping secrets, that time is past. Time for a new way, a synthesis, which is the responsibility of every generation. It led me to the I Ching and then beyond Divination. Tarot is a great tool in individuation and I think it should be used by every Psychologist and I would go further to say, while the Tarot can lead one out of the maze of their mind, I think it can also lead one into madness. As with all things, intention I learned matters. Greed and the baser instincts seem to disqualify you from these insights. So, I think you get from Tarot, just like anything, what you put into it and ultimately into yourself. I learned what was holding me and all of us back from heights undreamed.

Fear and regret.

I am free to do what I like and I find I like higher things and my natural tilt is towards the light. I wish not to hurt others, but I like lowly dirty things too, such is what I am. Why do all of this anyway or ask these questions, because you know and feel in yourself many rungs on the ladder of awareness.

“I cannot grasp all that I am.” – St Augustine

Augustine could not grasp it all, but we can and I am and we should. We can grasp all that we are. A gift or curse, shrug, its fun to search for it. I thank the Gamemaster.

Perhaps we are food for the Moon, as some people have wondered, but that would be absurd, wouldn’t it 😉 Everything eats something in this Universe.

All this from some funny cards. The archetypes of our unconcious are strewn out across the numbers, images and formulas. They tell the inner journey of all people. The cards are meaningless though, the wisdom I found is already inside of us. The cards just help me remember myself and how I like to play and fool myself.

There are many ancient and new tools to use to explore yourself with. I say try them all. Live like you have no tomorrow,  you were born for this moment. Dance like a fool before the Gods.

God helps me.

You Are Beyond Space and Time

When the student is ready, the teacher will come they say. I have found this to be true. All you have to do to begin to explore your inner being is to turn the eyes you have focused outside, inside.

That’s it.

I want to present some things I have been learning from many sources about my Self in the hope you will rise to meet your Self and find your own answers. I feel that I found a new life mid way through this one. It’s the strangest thing. My bio is not needed. I am you. What you struggle with is the same for myself.

I found a way to face life wholly from the inside out, which will lead you into a conversation with the Universe and your Self. Truth be told, you need no religion. Devotion is a fine way to know yourself though, but the big heavy Truth I have found is not a Truth at all. We are the Truth. Convenient, huh?! There is no path and there is even no one here needing it. Simply, we are the thing we seek. This seems counterintuitive possibly to you.

I AM THAT

You are beyond time and space. I have come to know and accept that the world around us is not as it appears and it cannot be True reality. It is an illusion, as is the sense you are a unique individual. So there are those two big things to get past, last thing, there is also only one Being in our Universe and we are part of THAT. Now this is hump we have to get everyone else over. I don’t know how, maybe 10-20 people will read this, but the volume is rising. I like our odds, myself and many have awoken to this reality and are exploring.

Q: Why would one seek answers inside themselves?

A: Curiosity. Boredom. Guilt. Fear. Perhaps your mind is unsettled. Perhaps you are suffering or feeling pain. You might be the source of pain for someone else. Or if you are like me, all of the above was true. I also had a feeling something was calling me, singing to me actually.

From I Am ThatNisargadatta Maharaj – Chapter 33

“When you demand nothing of the world, nor of God, when you want nothing, seek nothing, expect nothing, then the Supreme State will come to you uninvited and unexpected.” – Nisargadatta Maharaj

You Are Beyond Space and Time

NM: I am not bound by your dreamlike world. In my world the seeds of suffering, desire and fear are not sown and suffering does not grow. My world is free from opposites, of mutually distinctive discrepancies; harmony pervades; its peace is rocklike; this peace and silence are my body.

NM: Just see the person you imagine yourself to be as a part of the world you
perceive within your mind and look at the mind from the outside, for you are not the mind. After all, your only problem is the eager self-identification with whatever you perceive. Give up this habit, remember that you are not what you perceive, use your power of alert aloofness. See yourself in all that lives and your behavior will express your vision. Once you realise that there is nothing in this world which you can call your own, you look at it from the outside as you look at a play on the stage, or a picture on the screen, admiring and enjoying, but really unmoved. As long as you imagine yourself to be something tangible and solid, a thing among things, actually existing in time and space, short-lived and vulnerable, naturally you will be anxious to survive and increase.

But when you know yourself as beyond space and time — in contact with them only at the point of here and now, otherwise all-pervading and all containing, unapproachable, unassailable, invulnerable — you will be afraid no longer. Know yourself as you are — against fear there is no other remedy. You have to learn to think and feel on these lines, or you will remain indefinitely on the personal level of desire and fear, gaining and losing, growing and decaying. A personal problem cannot be solved on its own level. The very desire to live is the messenger of death, as the longing to be happy is the outline of sorrow.

The world is an ocean of pain and fear, of anxiety and despair. Pleasures are like the fishes, few and swift, rarely come, quickly gone. A man of low intelligence believes, against all evidence, that he is an exception and that the world owes him happiness. But the world cannot give what it does not have; unreal to the core, it is of no use for real happiness. It cannot be otherwise. We seek the real because we are unhappy with the unreal. Happiness is our real nature and we shall never rest until we find it. But rarely we know where to seek it. Once you have understood that the world is but a mistaken view of reality, and is not what it appears to be, you are free of its obsessions. Only what is compatible with your real being can make you happy and the world, as you perceive it, is its outright denial.

Q: How can one remain happy among so much suffering?

NM: One cannot help it — the inner happiness is overwhelmingly real. Like
the sun in the sky, its expressions may be clouded, but it is never absent.

Q: If happiness is independent, why are we not always happy?

NM: As long as we believe that we need things to make us happy, we shall
also believe that in their absence we must be miserable. Mind always shapes itself according to its beliefs. Hence the importance of convincing oneself that one need not be prodded into happiness; that, on the contrary, pleasure is a distraction and a nuisance, for it merely increases the false conviction that one needs to have and do things to be happy when in reality it is just the opposite. But why talk of happiness at all? You do not think of happiness except when you are unhappy. A man who says: ‘Now I am happy’, is between two sorrows — past and future. This happiness is mere excitement caused by relief from pain. Real happiness is utterly unselfconscious. It is best expressed negatively as: ‘there is nothing wrong with me. I have nothing to worry about’. After all, the ultimate purpose of all sadhana is to reach a point when this conviction, instead of being only verbal, is based on the actual and ever-present experience.

Q: Emptiness and nothingness — how dreadful.

NM: You face it most cheerfully, when you go to sleep! Find out for yourself
the state of wakeful sleep and you will find it quite in harmony with your real nature. Words can only give you the idea and the idea is not the experience. All I can say is that true happiness has no cause and what has no cause is immovable. Which does not mean it is perceivable, as pleasure. What is perceivable is pain and pleasure; the state of freedom from sorrow can be described only negatively. To know it directly you must go beyond the mind addicted to causality and the tyranny of time.

Q: What about witnessing?

NM: Witnessing is of the mind. The witness goes with the witnessed. In the state of non-duality all separation ceases.

Q: What about you? Do you continue in awareness?

M: The person, the ‘I am this body, this mind, this chain of memories, this
bundle of desires and fears’ disappears, but something you may call identity,
remains. It enables me to become a person when required. Love creates its own
necessities, even of becoming a person.

Q: What is the relation between reality and its expressions?

NM: No relation. In reality all is real and identical. As we put it, saguna and nirguna are one in Parabrahman. There is only the Supreme. In movement, it is saguna. Motionless, it is nirguna. But it is only the mind that moves or does not move. The real is beyond. You are beyond. Once you have understood that nothing perceivable, or conceivable can be yourself, you are free of your imaginations. To see everything as imagination, born of desire, is necessary for self-realisation. We miss the real by lack of attention and create the unreal by excess of imagination. You have to give your heart and mind to these things and brood over them repeatedly. It is like cooking food. You must keep it on the fire for some time before it is ready.

Q: Am I not under the sway of destiny, of my karma? What can I do
against it? What I am and what I do is pre-determined. Even my so-called free
choice is predetermined; only I am not aware of it and imagine myself to be free.

M: Again, it all depends how you look at it. Ignorance is like a fever — it makes you see things which are not there. Karma is the divinely prescribed treatment. Welcome it and follow the instructions faithfully and you will get well. A patient will leave the hospital after he recovers. To insist on immediate freedom of choice and action will merely postpone recovery. Accept your destiny and fulfill it — this is the shortest way to freedom from destiny, though not from love and its compulsions. To act from desire and fear is bondage;

…to act from love is freedom.

Call For Love

wisdom is knowing I am nothing
love is knowing I am everything
and between the two my life moves
— nisargadatta maharaj

everyone so busy now
moving to and fro
so urgently
burning all they touch

what is it you have
in your hand
money
what is that

imagine there are
no more words
you bought your ticket
you will get what you paid for

you were made from Love
there is no fear in Love
just a call for Love
you will return to Love

fear or love
is the game
what are the odds
I win everything

this game is fixed
will you still die
in a world without meaning
for the love of another

Fear or Destiny

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Sometimes you just have to squeeze your butt cheeks together,  yell “F*ck it!” and jump or yell whatever you feel is appropriate. I think we all get that chance in our lives at least once to do this when it matters the most.

Did you jump when it came time?

Will you?

No telling how many chances you will have. I will do what is asked and required of me and then I will get out of the way.

That’s what a good Taoist should do. Though, I’m not a Taoist, but that is sound advice to keep your ego in check when you need to turn your mind off…and jump.

I’m not anything and I am everything I found.

Literally in both cases. That is all awakening is meant to do in the end. Help you accept you are part of something much larger than yourself. Then you get dissolve like a wisp of air.

Fun.

Into what, well, take your pick of opinions or go look for yourself. A wisp of air can change the destiny of the Universe as the wings of a butterfly.

How wonderful to learn and feel that. I wish all could. They will in the end. They have to. Things will be balanced, all opposites unified. Who could hold one back who knew truly what they are and what their destiny is as a Human? Has someone told you who you are or did you go and find out? Because that is the most important part of this game.

You have to be what you are. When in doubt, go with the flow and just act naturally.

Awakening to your part of the whole allows you to act like a real Human irregardless of your identity, your desires or even your safety and well being at the right moments in life.

You have to be ready for that one moment sometimes!

You may only get one shot in your life. Everything tries to prevent you maybe from the one thing you were meant for. The one goal you needed to score or note you needed to sound to keep the music playing in harmony. No one may ever know what you did or who you are.

When you accept you are part of All and that you are limitless, then you can become love in action for the sake of All. If someone limits you, avoid them. If someone lifts you, spend all the time you can with them. You have to know one person can change it all. You can hear the song all those notes across the ages and ones today are singing to us. They are showing us the road to our Best Possible World.

To know your Self you have to submit your self to something bigger than your self. You are not separate from the Universe. You are the Universe. What you see playing out in the sky describes what is happening inside of yourself. There is no ego in union with All. Call it destiny, we all have the same one, in union together, finally.

Will you fear the loss of your self or will you embrace the destiny of All when the time comes?

No time like now.

The Dreamers

On the shoulders of
Great open minds
Who came before
I stand and strain to hear and see

I feel as Wordsworth
A motion and a spirit that impels
I feel the magickal idealism of
Courageous people infecting me

I walk in steps tread long before
I look around in wonder
Read all the pretty words
And hear the song of the human heart

There is a current of knowledge and wisdom
That flows all around us and was gifted to us
I withhold my stamp on the world
And am quiet to allow the deeper pattern to emerge

I feel destiny
And the responsibility and hopes
Of a thousand ancient hands
At my back

The Ancestors speak to me
And instill
A knowing that their sacrifice was
Not in vain

There is fear in the world
There is anger in the world
There is covetousness and jealousy too
There is murder of the innocent

But there is love and sacrifice in this world

There is beauty in the world
There is hope and courage in the world
There is Light and Truth
There is a bounty to harvest

In separation
In rending
In suffering
Love knows it’s depth

I will add my part
To the ancient myths and songs
And dream with you of
Our best future

Walking Solo

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I present a selection from Manly P. Hall’s ‘The Secret Teachings of All Ages‘, p. 406-408. In my commitment to listen to all during my comparative studies, I have opened my mind and heart to the Ancient Mysteries. I had guides and protection at every step. There is much we are never told, we must seek it out ourselves or respond to what seeks us.

My intuition and spiritually enhanced mind and heart leads me as needed. It will and does take a lifetime to climb the ladder to awareness if you so choose once you are done playing and living just for your self and your avatar in this material world. You can not come seeking profit or reward. You can’t come to save the world. You must approach as a wondering child seeking to connect to your Self in Love.

The enlightened can only plant the seed or point the way, because have no doubt, it is your great work to do. No one can impart their spirit to you. But they can be living proof of it if they are sincere in developing themselves to their highest intellectual and spiritual destiny. Through knowledge, intuition and experience I know things are not as they seem and I know what I need to know now about that and what I AM. Much peace comes with this awareness.

The four elements of our bodies combine around the invisible, which is the only real part of us, but through wisdom and expanded awareness the invisible emptiness can be replaced with a knowing. You can only find your  Self in the moment in every thing around you. Beyond one’s visions, poems, words, thoughts and knowledge is the simple action of loving a stranger as your Self. To learn to love is the way to your true Self. That is the thread I have found everywhere I looked.  On with the story.

From The Secret Teachings of All Ages…

According to the other school, the so-called division of the sexes resulted from suppression of one pole of the androgynous being in order that the vital energies manifesting through it might be diverted to development of the rational faculties. From this point of view man is still actually androgynous and spiritually complete, but in the material world the feminine part of man’s nature and the masculine part of woman’s nature are quiescent. Through spiritual unfoldment and knowledge imparted by the Mysteries, however, the latent element in each nature is gradually brought into activity and ultimately the human being thus regains sexual equilibrium. By this theory woman is elevated from the position of being man’s errant part to one of complete equality. From this point of view, marriage is regarded as a companionship in which two complete individualities manifesting opposite polarities are brought into association that each may thereby awaken the qualities latent in the other and thus assist in the attainment of individual completeness. The first theory may be said to regard marriage as an end; the second as a means to an end. The deeper schools of philosophy have leaned toward the latter as more adequately acknowledging the infinite potentialities of divine completeness in both aspects of creation.

The Christian Church is fundamentally opposed to the theory of marriage, claiming that the highest degree of spirituality is achievable only by those preserving the virginal state. This concept seemingly originated among certain sects of the early Gnostic Christians, who taught that to propagate the human species was to increase and perpetuate the power of the Demiurgus; for the lower world was looked upon as an evil fabrication created to ensnare the souls of all born into it–hence it was a crime to assist in bringing souls to earth. When, therefore, the unfortunate father or mother shall stand before the Final Tribunal, all their offspring will also appear and accuse them of being the cause of those miseries attendant upon physical existence. This view is strengthened by the allegory of Adam and Eve, whose sin through which humanity has been brought low is universally admitted to have been concerned with the mystery of generation. Mankind, owing to Father Adam its physical existence, regards its progenitor as the primary cause of its misery; and in the judgment Day, rising up as a mighty progeny, will accuse its common paternal ancestor.

Those Gnostic sects maintaining a more rational attitude on the subject declared the very existence of the lower worlds to signify that the Supreme Creator had a definite purpose in their creation; to doubt his judgment was, therefore, a grievous error. The church, however, seemingly arrogated to itself the astonishing prerogative of correcting God in this respect, for wherever possible it continued to impose celibacy, a practice resulting in an alarming number of neurotics. In the Mysteries, celibacy is reserved for those who have reached a certain degree of spiritual unfoldment. When advocated for the mass of unenlightened humanity, however, it becomes a dangerous heresy, fatal alike to both religion and philosophy. As Christendom in its fanaticism has blamed every individual Jew for the crucifixion of Jesus, so with equal consistency it has maligned every member of the feminine sex. In vindication of Eve philosophy claims that the allegory signifies merely that man is tempted by his emotions to depart from the sure path of reason.

Many of the early Church Fathers sought to establish a direct relationship between Adam and Christ, thereby obviously discounting the extremely sinful nature of man’s common ancestor, since it is quite certain that when St. Augustine likens Adam to Christ and Eve to the church he does not intend to brand the latter institution as the direct cause of the fall of man. For some inexplicable reason, however, religion has ever regarded intellectualism–in fact every form of knowledge–as fatal to man’s spiritual growth. The Ignaratitine Friars are an outstanding example of this attitude.

In this ritualistic drama–possibly derived from the Egyptians–Adam, banished from the Garden of Eden, represents man philosophically exiled from the sphere of Truth. Through ignorance man falls; through wisdom he redeems himself. The Garden of Eden represents the House of the Mysteries (see The Vision of Enoch) in the midst of which grew both the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Man, the banished Adam, seeks to pass from the outer court of the Sanctuary (the exterior universe) into the sanctum sanctorum, but before him rises a vast creature armed with a flashing sword that, moving slowly but continually, sweeps clear a wide circle, and through this “Ring Pass Not” the Adamic man cannot break.

The cherubim address the seeker thus: “Man, thou art dust and to dust thou shalt return. Thou wert fashioned by the Builder of Forms; thou belongest to the sphere of form, and the breath that was breathed into thy soul was the breath of form and like a flame it shall flicker out. More than thou art thou canst not be. Thou art a denizen of the outer world and it is forbidden thee to enter this inner place.”

And the Adam replies: “Many times have I stood within this courtyard and begged admission to my Father’s house and thou hast refused it me and sent me back to wander in darkness. True it is that I was fashioned out of the dirt and that my Maker could not confer upon me the boon of immortality. But no more shalt thou send me away; for, wandering in the darkness, I have discovered that the Almighty hath decreed my salvation because He hath sent out of the most hidden Mystery His Only Begotten who didst take upon Himself the world fashioned by the Demiurgus. Upon the elements of that world was He crucified and from Him hath poured forth the blood of my salvation. And God, entering into His creation, hath quickened it and established therein a road that leadeth to Himself. While my Maker could not give me immortality, immortality was inherent in the very dust of which I was composed, for before the world was fabricated and before the Demiurgus became the Regent of Nature the Eternal Life had impressed itself upon the face of Cosmos. This is its sign–the Cross. Do you now deny me entrance, I who have at last learned the mystery of myself?”

And the voice replies: “He who is aware, IS! Behold!”

Gazing about him, Adam finds himself in a radiant place, in the midst of which stands a tree with flashing jewels for fruit and entwined about its trunk a flaming, winged serpent crowned with a diadem of stars. It was the voice of the serpent that had spoken.

“Who art thou?” demands the Adam.

“I,” the serpent answers, “am Satan who was stoned; I am the Adversary–the Lord who is against you, the one who pleads for your destruction before the Eternal Tribunal. I was your enemy upon the day that you were formed; I have led you into temptation; I have delivered you into the hands of evil; I have maligned you; I have striven ever to achieve your undoing. I am the guardian of the Tree of Knowledge and I have sworn that none whom I can lead astray shall partake of its fruits.”

The Adam replies: “For uncounted ages have I been thy servant. In my ignorance I listened to thy words and they led me into paths of sorrow. Thou hast placed in my mind dreams of power, and when I struggled to realize those dreams they brought me naught but pain. Thou hast sowed in me the seeds of desire, and when I lusted after the things of the flesh agony was my only recompense. Thou hast sent me false prophets and false reasoning, and when I strove to grasp the magnitude of Truth I found thy laws were false and only dismay rewarded my strivings. I am done with thee forever, O artful Spirit! I have tired of thy world of illusions. No longer will I labor in thy vineyards of iniquity. Get thee behind me, rempter, and the host of thy temptations. There is no happiness, no peace, no good, no future in the doctrines of selfishness, hate, and passion preached by thee. All these things do I cast aside. Renounced is thy rule forever!”

And the serpent makes answer: “Behold, O Adam, the nature of thy Adversary!” The serpent disappears in a blinding sunburst of radiance and in its place stands an angel resplendent in shining, golden garments with great scarlet wings that spread from one corner of the heavens to the other. Dismayed and awestruck, the Adam falls before the divine creature.

“I am the Lord who is against thee and thus accomplishes thy salvation, ” continues the voice. “Thou hast hated me, but through the ages yet to be thou shalt bless me, for I have led thee our of the sphere of the Demiurgus; I have turned thee against the illusion of worldliness; I have weaned thee of desire; I have awakened in thy soul the immortality of which I myself partake. Follow me, O Adam, for I am the Way, the Life, and the Truth!”