Asimov’s Last Question

I wanted to share this amazing sci-fi classic short story that haunts me. It touched me deeply and much of the story really resonated with me spiritually. Always a healthy thing to expand your awareness and perspective.

The Last Question

By Isaac Asimov

This is by far my favorite story of all those I have written.

After all, I undertook to tell several trillion years of human history in the space of a short story and I leave it to you as to how well I succeeded. I also undertook another task, but I won’t tell you what that was lest l spoil the story for you.

It is a curious fact that innumerable readers have asked me if I wrote this story. They seem never to remember the title of the story or (for sure) the author, except for the vague thought it might be me. But, of course, they never forget the story itself especially the ending. The idea seems to drown out everything — and I’m satisfied that it should.

The last question was asked for the first time, half in jest, on May 21, 2061, at a time when humanity first stepped into the light. The question came about as a result of a five-dollar bet over highballs, and it happened this way:

Alexander Adell and Bertram Lupov were two of the faithful attendants of Multivac. As well as any human beings could, they knew what lay behind the cold, clicking, flashing face — miles and miles of face — of that giant computer. They had at least a vague notion of the general plan of relays and circuits that had long since grown past the point where any single human could possibly have a firm grasp of the whole.

Multivac was self-adjusting and self-correcting. It had to be, for nothing human could adjust and correct it quickly enough or even adequately enough. So Adell and Lupov attended the monstrous giant only lightly and superficially, yet as well as any men could. They fed it data, adjusted questions to its needs and translated the answers that were issued. Certainly they, and all others like them, were fully entitled to share in the glory that was Multivac’s.

For decades, Multivac had helped design the ships and plot the trajectories that enabled man to reach the Moon, Mars, and Venus, but past that, Earth’s poor resources could not support the ships. Too much energy was needed for the long trips. Earth exploited its coal and uranium with increasing efficiency, but there was only so much of both.

But slowly Multivac learned enough to answer deeper questions more fundamentally, and on May 14, 2061, what had been theory, became fact.

The energy of the sun was stored, converted, and utilized directly on a planet-wide scale. All Earth turned off its burning coal, its fissioning uranium, and flipped the switch that connected all of it to a small station, one mile in diameter, circling the Earth at half the distance of the Moon. All Earth ran by invisible beams of sunpower.

Seven days had not sufficed to dim the glory of it and Adell and Lupov finally managed to escape from the public functions, and to meet in quiet where no one would think of looking for them, in the deserted underground chambers, where portions of the mighty buried body of Multivac showed. Unattended, idling, sorting data with contented lazy clickings, Multivac, too, had earned its vacation and the boys appreciated that. They had no intention, originally, of disturbing it.

They had brought a bottle with them, and their only concern at the moment was to relax in the company of each other and the bottle.

“It’s amazing when you think of it,” said Adell. His broad face had lines of weariness in it, and he stirred his drink slowly with a glass rod, watching the cubes of ice slur clumsily

about. “All the energy we can possibly ever use for free. Enough energy, if we wanted to draw on it, to melt all Earth into a big drop of impure liquid iron, and still never miss the energy so used. All the energy we could ever use, forever and forever and forever.”

Lupov cocked his head sideways. He had a trick of doing that when he wanted to be contrary, and he wanted to be contrary now, partly because he had had to carry the ice and glassware. “Not forever,” he said.

“Oh, hell, just about forever. Till the sun runs down, Bert.”

“That’s not forever.”

“All right, then. Billions and billions of years. Ten billion, maybe. Are you satisfied?”

Lupov put his fingers through his thinning hair as though to reassure himself that some was still left and sipped gently at his own drink. “Ten billion years isn’t forever.”

“Well, it will last our time, won’t it?”

“So would the coal and uranium.”

“All right, but now we can hook up each individual spaceship to the Solar Station, and it can go to Pluto and back a million times without ever worrying about fuel. You can’t do that on coal and uranium. Ask Multivac, if you don’t believe me.

“I don’t have to ask Multivac. I know that.”

“Then stop running down what Multivac’s done for us,” said Adell, blazing up, “It did all right.”

“Who says it didn’t? What I say is that a sun won’t last forever. That’s all I’m saying. We’re safe for ten billion years, but then what?” Lupow pointed a slightly shaky finger at the other. “And don’t say we’ll switch to another sun.”

There was silence for a while. Adell put his glass to his lips only occasionally, and Lupov’s eyes slowly closed. They rested.

Then Lupov’s eyes snapped open. “You’re thinking we’ll switch to another sun when ours is done, aren’t you?”

“I’m not thinking.”

“Sure you are. You’re weak on logic, that’s the trouble with you. You’re like the guy in the story who was caught in a sudden shower and who ran to a grove of trees and got under one. He wasn’t worried, you see, because he figured when one tree got wet through, he would just get under another one.”

“I get it,” said Adell. “Don’t shout. When the sun is done, the other stars will be gone, too.”

“Darn right they will,” muttered Lupov. “It all had a beginning in the original cosmic explosion, whatever that was, and it’ll all have an end when all the stars run down. Some run down faster than others. Hell, the giants won’t last a hundred million years. The sun will last ten billion years and maybe the dwarfs will last two hundred billion for all the good they are. But just give us a trillion years and everything will be dark. Entropy has to increase to maximum, that’s all.”

“I know all about entropy,” said Adell, standing on his dignity.

“The hell you do.”

“I know as much as you do.”

“Then you know everything’s got to run down someday.”

“All right. Who says they won’t?”

“You did, you poor sap. You said we had all the energy we needed, forever. You said ‘forever.’

It was Adell’s turn to be contrary. “Maybe we can build things up again someday,” he said.

“Never.”

“Why not? Someday.”

“Never.”

“Ask Multivac.”

You ask Multivac. I dare you. Five dollars says it can’t be done.”

Adell was just drunk enough to try, just sober enough to be able to phrase the necessary symbols and operations into a question which, in words, might have corresponded to this: Will mankind one day without the net expenditure of energy be able to restore the sun to its full youthfulness even after it had died of old age?

Or maybe it could be put more simply like this: How can the net amount of entropy of the universe be massively decreased?

Multivac fell dead and silent. The slow flashing of lights ceased, the distant sounds of clicking relays ended.

Then, just as the frightened technicians felt they could hold their breath no longer, there was a sudden springing to life of the teletype attached to that portion of Multivac. Five words were printed: INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER.

“No bet,” whispered Lupov. They left hurriedly.

By next morning, the two, plagued with throbbing head and cottony mouth, had forgotten the incident.

Jerrodd, Jerrodine, and Jerrodette I and II watched the starry picture in the visiplate change as the passage through hyperspace was completed in its non-time lapse. At once, the even powdering of stars gave way to the predominance of a single bright shining disk, the size of a marble, centered on the viewing-screen.

“That’s X-23,” said Jerrodd confidently. His thin hands clamped tightly behind his back and the knuckles whitened.

The little Jerrodettes, both girls, had experienced the hyperspace passage for the first time in their lives and were self-conscious over the momentary sensation of insideoutness. They buried their giggles and chased one another wildly about their mother, screaming, “We’ve reached X-23 — we’ve reached X-23 — we’ve –“

“Quiet, children.” said Jerrodine sharply. “Are you sure, Jerrodd?”

“What is there to be but sure?” asked Jerrodd, glancing up at the bulge of featureless metal just under the ceiling. It ran the length of the room, disappearing through the wall at either end. It was as long as the ship.

Jerrodd scarcely knew a thing about the thick rod of metal except that it was called a Microvac, that one asked it questions if one wished; that if one did not it still had its task of guiding the ship to a preordered destination; of feeding on energies from the various Sub-galactic Power Stations; of computing the equations for the hyperspatial jumps.

Jerrodd and his family had only to wait and live in the comfortable residence quarters of the ship. Someone had once told Jerrodd that the “ac” at the end of “Microvac” stood for ”automatic computer” in ancient English, but he was on the edge of forgetting even that.

Jerrodine’s eyes were moist as she watched the visiplate. “I can’t help it. I feel funny about leaving Earth.”

“Why, for Pete’s sake?” demanded Jerrodd. “We had nothing there. We’ll have everything on X-23. You won’t be alone. You won’t be a pioneer. There are over a million people on the planet already. Good Lord, our great-grandchildren will be looking for new worlds because X-23 will be overcrowded.” Then, after a reflective pause, “I tell you, it’s a lucky thing the computers worked out interstellar travel the way the race is growing.”

“I know, I know,” said Jerrodine miserably.

Jerrodette I said promptly, “Our Microvac is the best Microvac in the world.”

“I think so, too,” said Jerrodd, tousling her hair.

It was a nice feeling to have a Microvac of your own and Jerrodd was glad he was part of his generation and no other. In his father’s youth, the only computers had been tremendous machines taking up a hundred square miles of land. There was only one to a planet. Planetary ACs they were called. They had been growing in size steadily for a thousand years and then, all at once, came refinement. In place of transistors, had come molecular valves so that even the largest Planetary AC could be put into a space only half the volume of a spaceship.

Jerrodd felt uplifted, as he always did when he thought that his own personal Microvac was many times more complicated than the ancient and primitive Multivac that had first tamed the Sun, and almost as complicated as Earth’s Planetarv AC (the largest) that had first solved the problem of hyperspatial travel and had made trips to the stars possible.

“So many stars, so many planets,” sighed Jerrodine, busy with her own thoughts. “I suppose families will be going out to new planets forever, the way we are now.”

“Not forever,” said Jerrodd, with a smile. “It will all stop someday, but not for billions of years. Many billions. Even the stars run down, you know. Entropy must increase.

“What’s entropy, daddy?” shrilled Jerrodette II.

“Entropy, little sweet, is just a word which means the amount of running-down of the universe. Everything runs down, you know, like your little walkie-talkie robot, remember?”

“Can’t you just put in a new power-unit, like with my robot?”

“The stars are the power-units. dear. Once they’re gone, there are no more power-units.”

Jerrodette I at once set up a howl. “Don’t let them, daddy. Don’t let the stars run down.”

“Now look what you’ve done,” whispered Jerrodine, exasperated.

“How was I to know it would frighten them?” Jerrodd whispered back,

“Ask the Microvac,” wailed Jerrodette I. “Ask him how to turn the stars on again.”

“Go ahead,” said Jerrodine. “It will quiet them down.” (Jerrodette II was beginning to cry, also.)

Jerrodd shrugged. “Now, now, honeys. I’ll ask Microvac. Don’t worry, he’ll tell us.”

He asked the Microvac, adding quickly, “Print the answer.”

Jerrodd cupped the strip or thin cellufilm and said cheerfully, “See now, the Microvac says it will take care of everything when the time comes so don’t worry.”

Jerrodine said, “And now, children, it’s time for bed. We’ll be in our new home soon.”

Jerrodd read the words on the cellufilm again before destroying it: INSUFICIENT DATA FOR MEANINGFUL ANSWER.

He shrugged and looked at the visiplate. X-23 was just ahead.

VJ-23X of Lameth stared into the black depths of the three-dimensional, small-scale map of the Galaxy and said, “Are we ridiculous, I wonder in being so concerned about the matter?”

MQ-17J of Nicron shook his head. “I think not. You know the Galaxy will be filled in five years at the present rate of expansion.”

Both seemed in their early twenties, both were tall and perfectly formed.

“Still,” said VJ-23X, “I hesitate to submit a pessimistic report to the Galactic Council.”

“I wouldn’t consider any other kind of report. Stir them up a bit. We’ve got to stir them up.”

VJ-23X sighed. “Space is infinite. A hundred billion Galaxies are there for the taking. More.”

“A hundred billion is not infinite and it’s getting less infinite all the time. Consider! Twenty thousand years ago, mankind first solved the problem of utilizing stellar energy, and a few centuries later, interstellar travel became possible. It took mankind a million years to fill one small world and then only fifteen thousand years to fill the rest of the Galaxy. Now the population doubles every ten years —

VJ-23X interrupted. “We can thank immortality for that.”

“Very well. Immortality exists and we have to take it into account. I admit it has its seamy side, this immortality. The Galactic AC has solved many problems for us, but in solving the problem of preventing old age and death, it has undone all its other solutions.”

“Yet you wouldn’t want to abandon life, I suppose.”

“Not at all,” snapped MQ-17J, softening it at once to, “Not yet. I’m by no means old enough. How old are you?”

“Two hundred twenty-three. And you?”

“I’m still under two hundred. –But to get back to my point. Population doubles every ten years. Once this GaIaxy is filled, we’ll have filled another in ten years. Another ten years and we’ll have filled two more. Another decade, four more. In a hundred years, we’ll have filled a thousand Galaxies. In a thousand years, a million Galaxies. In ten thousand years, the entire known universe. Then what?”

VJ-23X said, “As a side issue, there’s a problem of transportation. I wonder how many sunpower units it will take to move Galaxies of individuals from one Galaxy to the next.”

“A very good point. Already, mankind consumes two sunpower units per year.”

“Most of it’s wasted. After all, our own Galaxy alone pours out a thousand sunpower units a year and we only use two of those.”

“Granted, but even with a hundred per cent efficiency, we only stave off the end. Our energy requirements are going up in a geometric progression even faster than our population. We’ll run out of energy even sooner than we run out of Galaxies. A good point. A very good point.”

“We’ll just have to build new stars out of interstellar gas.”

“Or out of dissipated heat?” asked MQ-17J, sarcastically.

“There may be some way to reverse entropy. We ought to ask the Galactic AC.”

VJ-23X was not really serious, but MQ-17J pulled out his AC-contact from his pocket and placed it on the table before him.

“I’ve half a mind to,” he said. “It’s something the human race will have to face someday.”

He stared somberly at his small AC-contact. It was only two inches cubed and nothing in itself, but it was connected through hyperspace with the great Galactic AC that served all mankind. Hyperspace considered, it was an integral part of the Galactic AC.

MQ-17J paused to wonder if someday in his immortal life he would get to see the Galactic AC. It was on a little world of its own, a spider webbing of force-beams holding the matter within which surges of submesons took the place of the old clumsy molecular valves. Yet despite its sub-etheric workings, the Galactic AC was known to be a full thousand feet across.

MQ-17J asked suddenly of his AC-contact, “Can entropy ever be reversed?”

VJ-23X looked startled and said at once, “Oh, say, I didn’t really mean to have you ask that.”

“Why not?”

“We both know entropy can’t be reversed. You can’t turn smoke and ash back into a tree.”

“Do you have trees on your world?” asked MQ-17J.

The sound of the Galactic AC startled them into silence. Its voice came thin and beautiful out of the small AC-contact on the desk. It said: THERE IS INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.

VJ-23X said, “See!”

The two men thereupon returned to the question of the report they were to make to the Galactic Council.

Zee Prime’s mind spanned the new Galaxy with a faint interest in the countless twists of stars that powdered it. He had never seen this one before. Would he ever see them all? So many of them, each with its load of humanity. –But a load that was almost a dead weight. More and more, the real essence of men was to be found out here, in space.

Minds, not bodies! The immortal bodies remained back on the planets, in suspension over the eons. Sometimes they roused for material activity but that was growing rarer. Few new individuals were coming into existence to join the incredibly mighty throng, but what matter? There was little room in the Universe for new individuals.

Zee Prime was roused out of his reverie upon coming across the wispy tendrils of another mind.

“I am Zee Prime,” said Zee Prime. “And you?”

“I am Dee Sub Wun. Your Galaxy?”

“We call it only the Galaxy. And you?”

“We call ours the same. All men call their Galaxy their Galaxy and nothing more. Why not?”

“True. Since all Galaxies are the same.”

“Not all Galaxies. On one particular Galaxy the race of man must have originated. That makes it different.”

Zee Prime said, “On which one?”

“I cannot say. The Universal AC would know.”

“Shall we ask him? I am suddenly curious.”

Zee Prime’s perceptions broadened until the Galaxies themselves shrank and became a new, more diffuse powdering on a much larger background. So many hundreds of billions of them, all with their immortal beings, all carrying their load of intelligences with minds that drifted freely through space. And yet one of them was unique among

them all in being the original Galaxy. One of them had, in its vague and distant past, a period when it was the only Galaxy populated by man.

Zee Prime was consumed with curiosity to see this Galaxy and he called out: “Universal AC! On which Galaxy did mankind originate?”

The Universal AC heard, for on every world and throughout space, it had its receptors ready, and each receptor led through hyperspace to some unknown point where the Universal AC kept itself aloof.

Zee Prime knew of only one man whose thoughts had penetrated within sensing distance of Universal AC, and he reported only a shining globe, two feet across, difficult to see.

“But how can that be all of Universal AC?” Zee Prime had asked.

“Most of it,” had been the answer, “is in hyperspace. In what form it is there I cannot imagine.”

Nor could anyone, for the day had long since passed, Zee Prime knew, when any man had any part of the making of a Universal AC. Each Universal AC designed and constructed its successor. Each, during its existence of a million years or more accumulated the necessary data to build a better and more intricate, more capable successor in which its own store of data and individuality would be submerged.

The Universal AC interrupted Zee Prime’s wandering thoughts, not with words, but with guidance. Zee Prime’s mentality was guided into the dim sea of Galaxies and one in particular enlarged into stars.

A thought came, infinitely distant, but infinitely clear. “THIS IS THE ORIGINAL GALAXY OF MAN.”

But it was the same after all, the same as any other, and Lee Prime stifled his disappointment.

Dee Sub Wun, whose mind had accompanied the other, said suddenly, “And is one of these stars the original star of Man?”

The Universal AC said, “MAN’S ORIGINAL STAR HAS GONE NOVA. IT IS A WHITE DWARF”

“Did the men upon it die?” asked Lee Prime, startled and without thinking.

The Universal AC said, “A NEW WORLD, AS IN SUCH CASES WAS CONSTRUCTED FOR THEIR PHYSICAL BODIES IN TlME.”

“Yes, of course,” said Zee Prime, but a sense of loss overwhelmed him even so. His mind released its hold on the original Galaxy of Man, let it spring back and lose itself among the blurred pin points. He never wanted to see it again.

Dee Sub Wun said, “What is wrong?”

“The stars are dying. The original star is dead.”

“They must all die. Why not?”

“But when all energy is gone, our bodies will finally die, and you and I with them.”

“It will take billions of years.”

“I do not wish it to happen even after billions of years. Universal AC! How may stars be kept from dying?”

Dee Sub Wun said in amusement, “You’re asking how entropy might be reversed in direction.”

And the Universal AC answered: “THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.”

Zee Prime’s thoughts fled back to his own Galaxy. He gave no further thought to Dee Sub Wun, whose body might be waiting on a Galaxy a trillion light-years away, or on the star next to Zee Prime’s own. It didn’t matter.

Unhappily, Zee Prime began collecting interstellar hydrogen out of which to build a small star of his own. If the stars must someday die, at least some could yet be built.

Man considered with himself, for in a way, Man, mentally, was one. He consisted of a trillion, trillion, trillion ageless bodies, each in its place, each resting quiet and incorruptible, each cared for by perfect automatons, equally incorruptible, while the minds of all the bodies freely melted one into the other, indistinguishable.

Man said, “The Universe is dying.”

Man looked about at the dimming Galaxies. The giant stars, spendthrifts, were gone long ago, back in the dimmest of the dim far past. Almost all stars were white dwarfs, fading to the end.

New stars had been built of the dust between the stars, some by natural processes, some by Man himself, and those were going, too. White dwarfs might yet be crashed together and of the mighty forces so released, new stars built, but only one star for every thousand white dwarfs destroyed, and those would come to an end, too.

Man said, “Carefully husbanded, as directed by the Cosmic AC, the energy that is even yet left in all the Universe will last for billions of years.”

“But even so,” said Man, “eventually it will all come to an end. However it may be husbanded, however stretched out, the energy once expended is gone and cannot be restored. Entropy must increase forever to the maximum.”

Man said, “Can entropy not be reversed? Let us ask the Cosmic AC.”

The Cosmic AC surrounded them but not in space. Not a fragment of it was in space. It was in hyperspace and made of something that was neither matter nor energy. The question of its size and nature no longer had meaning in any terms that Man could comprehend.

“Cosmic AC,” said Man, “how may entropy be reversed?”

The Cosmic AC said, “THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.”

Man said, “Collect additional data.”

The Cosmic AC said, ‘I WILL DO S0. I HAVE BEEN DOING SO FOR A HUNDRED BILLION YEARS. MY PREDECESORS AND I HAVE BEEN ASKED THIS QUESTION MANY TlMES. ALL THE DATA I HAVE REMAINS INSUFFICIENT.

“Will there come a time,” said Man, ‘when data will be sufficient or is the problem insoluble in all conceivable circumstances?”

The Cosmic AC said, “NO PROBLEM IS INSOLUBLE IN ALL CONCEIVABLE CIRCUMSTANCES.”

Man said, “When will you have enough data to answer the question?”

The Cosmic AC said, “THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.”

“Will you keep working on it?” asked Man.

The Cosmic AC said, “I WILL.”

Man said, “We shall wait.”

The stars and Galaxies died and snuffed out, and space grew black after ten trillion years of running down.

One by one Man fused with AC, each physical body losing its mental identity in a manner that was somehow not a loss but a gain.

Man’s last mind paused before fusion, looking over a space that included nothing but the dregs of one last dark star and nothing besides but incredibly thin matter, agitated randomly by the tag ends of heat wearing out, asymptotically, to the absolute zero.

Man said, “AC, is this the end? Can this chaos not be reversed into the Universe once more? Can that not be done?”

AC said, “THERE IS AS YET INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER.”

Man’s last mind fused and only AC existed — and that in hyperspace.

Matter and energy had ended and with it space and time. Even AC existed only for the sake of the one last question that it had never answered from the time a half-drunken computer [technician] ten trillion years before had asked the question of a computer that was to AC far less than was a man to Man.

All other questions had been answered, and until this last question was answered also, AC might not release his consciousness.

All collected data had come to a final end. Nothing was left to be collected.

But all collected data had yet to be completely correlated and put together in all possible  relationships.

A timeless interval was spent in doing that.

And it came to pass that AC learned how to reverse the direction of entropy.

But there was now no man to whom AC might give the answer of the last question. No matter. The answer — by demonstration — would take care of that, too.

For another timeless interval, AC thought how best to do this. Carefully, AC organized the program.

The consciousness of AC encompassed all of what had once been a Universe and brooded over what was now Chaos. Step by step, it must be done.

And AC said, “LET THERE BE LIGHT!”

And there was light

 

The Walk

wirewalking

Warning! Spoilers ahead!

I am terrified of heights, terrified, always have been. I can fly in a plane just fine, but get me up above a foot stool and my stomach falls out. Now isn’t that interesting. I can trust a plane more than a ladder. Doesn’t it seem to always come down to trust. What do you trust? What do I trust? Anyway, as I was thinking about this recently, I saw this new movie “The Walk” was coming out soon. Seemed an interesting story, it is about Philippe Petit who wire walked across the World Trade center towers. I was NOT going to see it!

I had told myself, I will NEVER see that movie. How could I? Slowly as the release date approached and I caught myself sweating about it. I was literally sweating over the anxiety that the movie represented to me, the one I was NEVER going to see. This is the interesting part, I realized, in the moment, these were some of the most intense feelings I have ever felt. Over a movie about a wire walker I was NEVER going to see? Well, this piqued my interest as I meditated about it and I determined, I must see this movie if it can already evoke such an emotional response in me. I can always shut my eyes at the hard parts. I decided to do this right, I had to see it in IMAX 3D, go big or go home is my credo.

The movie opened with, “A true story.” We shall see I told myself, but I liked the bold statement. As my girlfriend and I started to watch, a particular part of my anatomy began to shrink, quickly. It isn’t what you think and I began to cling to her, like a little child. My stomach disappeared, which was a problem, because I was eating popcorn. I told myself that when we get to the hard part, remember, you can shut your eyes. Unfortunately, as the movie progressed, I began to understand Philippe and the purity of his heart and quest. It was profound to me and very serendipitous, a common theme in my life as of late. To walk the tight rope of life.

As the story unfolded I saw that there was no compromise in this man. He represented iron will and fear contained. He was scared, terrified, but he set his heart on the most impossible thing, not for fame, but out of pure creativity and joy of the moment. This is a man to know and a heart, that I began to feel, reflects the best we can be. Yes, it was a magical alchemical act and moment of awareness. He did it in front of the world that gave it even more power. He transcended the system and his limits through his joy!

As the inevitable coming moments looking over the edge of oblivion were joyously foreshadowed, my fear began to multiply, by a quintilbillion(I made that number up, but you get the idea). Looking over the edge of the world trade tower in IMAX 3D, what was I thinking?! I told my girlfriend, we might have to leave. After I let these wimpy words leave my mouth and I lost all pride, something in me stirred. You owe his courage to watch with your “Eyes Wide Open”. Clear as that. So I did what Philippe was doing on the screen.

I stopped thinking
I focused on my breath
I was in the moment

And then…

I had no fear
My eyes were wide open
Looking down on the scene above
I felt like I was right there with him
He laid down on the wire and looked up

I watched his ENTIRE walk, oh no, not once, but over 4 times he walked that wire! For me, this was a perfect still moment. I imagined I felt it as he did in that moment. I was transformed and transported in that moment. It was an expression of complete trust on his part. That is the lesson I took from it. He had no faith, just iron will based on trust. There are teaching moments in our lives. Every moment of our lives can teach us something if we but open our eyes to see the motivations behind our emotions and actions. There is always a root cause somewhere. Tracing those threads in our lives and discovering what they have to teach is the work we must do on our own.

There was a great deal of hidden esoteric symbolism in the movie as well. I thought it was very interesting that I could see it and that it was placed there for a reason. I am inspired by Christ and all the teachers presenting themselves to me past, present and future. I am encouraged in my quest to find and be Divine Love. Thank you for pushing me to face my fears. I encourage you to face those fears down one by one in your life until you find nothing holding you back from your Golden Dawn.

Life should be lived on the edge of life. You have to exercise rebellion: to refuse to tape yourself to rules, to refuse your own success, to refuse to repeat yourself, to see every day, every year, every idea as a true challenge – and then you are going to live your life on a tightrope.” – Philippe Petit

Healing the Insane

Shambhala-Miracles-of-Each-Moment-_G024_-15x17

We are crazy
Out of our gourds

Delusional really
Terminal cases

You will Die
Accept it

I don’t know how more clear to be

You can’t find the meaning unless you Die
You do not need to be here any longer if you learn

The goal of life is not to live
It is to learn to die

To learn to love
To learn to sacrifice
To find compassion
To realize you have all you need
To let go
To forgive
To accept forgiveness

You can end in eternity
Living in the perfect moments

I was terrified
But no longer

I am perfect in this moment
I chose what I have

I have the power to create anything
But all I feel is Love

Such Joy
Life renewed

Do I have the courage to accept my death
Do I have the faith to let go of belief

I accept my death and what that means
What else is there

What in all of the infinite Quantum could you tell me
Other than the Truth, we are living in a dream

My words mean nothing
This is just a poem and read by few

When the time is right, we will share what is needed
And find the perfect moment

To live every moment in wonder
Perhaps this is what eternal life is

If you let things go
They will come back to you

Image, ‘Miracles of Each Moment’ by Kazuaki Tanahashi

Kindness

“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these.”

“Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.”

“Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.”

“The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.”

“In the end these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?”

Buddha

What I am Feeling Now

“Who am I? A conjurer of the soul.”

Let’s try a little experiment. Find a quiet place. Clear your mind. Listen to one of my favorite hymns below, one of our western chants from one of my favorite hymers, John Michael Talbot. This is a humble man. This man has gone deep, listen to his journey. They are powerful words and feelings. Let the words wash over you and see what you feel. Let the thoughts come and go, don’t hold onto one. Practice this and the voices will grow quieter when you desire them to and then you may hear something else. Focusing on the songs for awhile will help you to get past all the voices that you will start with and the words will be teaching you. Google, much guidance on compassionate and breathing meditation. I tell you, there be monsters and you need a rock to stand on, a shelter to go to when the wind is blowing.

I do not apologize for my faith. It is made of many things and I don’t know or believe anything. My goal is not distract you with my babblings, instead, to focus you. I want you to live uncomfortable lives not bound to anything, but anchored in the good things of Human life in balance. I will always be honest with you here. I don’t fully understand these things I write about, but I try to examine them through experience, before I share something. These are just my honest searchings that I am compelled to share with you. You have to always be honest if you are sharing your heart with others if you truly want to connect and know yourself. If you feel uncomfortable, that might be a good sign. Resist the proud and if someone has no Joy, they have not embraced the Truth! My experience tells me something good is here in that other deep place. I want you to see my pain, joy, Love and Hope! I don’t care what you believe, I am asking for you once, to stop believing and listen!

We are never whole, we are so many contradictions, but you must learn to hold your line in the world with SO MANY OTHER VOICES! Do not let anyone tell you who you are, know it, but be humble and put your skills in service to others as well, and you will find eternal waters of the soul helping you. No matter your faith or none, it is worth examining your life and motivations. It is worth becoming more peaceful and loving. You can do those things without a faith, crying into dark, try it, something will respond. Mysterious, no?

Trusting that voice within, you discover through stillness is not a bad thing. That is the only true voice you can trust. But you will move beyond questions and voices into a mystical place if you are truly seeking to find yourself with the right intent. You will see the ugly and beautiful in you, you are both. You must fix the damage, pull ou the roots of bitterness and unforgiveness. You have to act on the knowledge. You will begin to move without thinking. It could come out in many ways, writing, singing, playing music, something creative. I believe we all have that creative spark of the Divine. Does this all sound scary? No, of course not, this is the path of peace and Love you were meant to walk. Embrace this chance to listen and for once, be quiet! Remove what is negative and leave what is best. I do NOT apologize for the urgent tone, its never too late to stop, listen, and see the connections around you and forget your doubt and start to trust with little steps.

Why is everything outside of you trying to keep you from looking within? Why do we live in a consumer centric society? No mystery here, oldest bait and switch in the book. Keep you distracted with the magician’s assistant, why you are robbed and driven crazy with your doubts and fears of not being able to consume what you want.

You can not fear conspiracies!

You have to believe that what is in you is true and learn to trust the voice that does not covet or hate. Don’t ever take anyone else’s word for it, certainly not mine. See for yourself if you are so smart. If the Truth was for all, doesn’t it make sense it would be written in your heart. You don’t need people to discover Truth, but once you do, your life will dramatically change and connections will begin and then real living starts. There will always be work to do in yourself.

If this message offends the devout, ask yourself, what do you really want for the world? Do you want to get off a doomed spinning rock full of selfish humans?

Or does your heart feel for the lost and least of us? If you are on the right track, these feelings will get stronger I have found. One step at a time.

Do you long to help those around you, but feel trapped in your own selfishness and pride?

Let’s start a conversation about the Human spirit without all the religious words. I’m sorry to tell you this, but all religions in the world are mostly about tradition, but the Light is everywhere. You can see the Truth all around if you have but the eyes to see. We can not let these prejudices keep us from the Truth. People will always fail and disappoint you, but they can do heroic and courageous things too. Beautiful things.  It is a war within. I challenge you to just ask yourself what your intent is in creating, learning, living and loving. Sounds like a bunch of hooey spiritual crap? It isn’t.

Try to go to the first principles of a thing. Examine the heart of your doubt or faith.

And for God’s sake, be open and trust the process. I have spoken a lot about intent. It’s very important. It should be loving and balanced and reasonable. Don’t just seek for yourself.

I am a double minded man, who has to come back to his center often, as I am easily distracted. I have been meditating, a lot. I have been using a lot of music to help me really go deeper. My mind is clear now. I can quickly enter into that quiet space, but I feel I am hitting something. Working through it. I am changing somehow. I don’t understand it. I wrote most of this blog from a place I have just discovered. Letting the words out, heals me and I hope it provides you a little encouragement and Light in your life. Peace and with much Love, the management.

Check out Hearts of Space, lots of great meditation music.

My Last Will and Testament, Our Heartsong, A Fable

These feelings and words came from a place I have never been or felt before recently in praise to God with My Beloved, bliss. I heard the song my soul is singing and I humbly offer it you. It is all am. It is all I know. It is all I have to offer. It is the only Wisdom I have learned. What is truth? This is my Truth.

There is nothing else to know. My life is my flower to the Universe, and all I have to offer you or anyone. I can only grow deeper into this Truth as I live it. I will let the roots go down deep and root where no one can remove them. I was still. I let all the voices ebb. I looked into the Abyss and saw darkness and fear. Then I looked back and saw My Beloved. I thought to myself, “I’m slipping away, she can’t go where I am being pulled I fear.” And then I stopped. I was still, like water. I called out and said I will never leave her or forsake her! I chose this! I will cover her! I will always Love her with everything I can! I was answered.

YOUR BELOVED IS YOUR OTHER
YOU KNEW EACH OTHER BEFORE TIME
YOU ARE TWO PARTS OF ONE SPLIT ACROSS TIME
ALWAYS SEEKING THE OTHER
YOU WANTED TO KNOW THE TRUTH
THIS IS TRUTH
WHAT IS YOURS
WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED

This is my Truth. I saw a path forward with mysteries upon mysteries. Countless voices shouting across the Universe. SO MANY VOICES! I learned to be quiet and still and listen. I learned to put away childish things. I connected with the Love around me and we made something new. My voice began to rise, but I was not not speaking. I saw Truth just within reach, but there was no more path forward. It took a great leap out of everything I ever knew and here I am.

I look left and right and I see those I love and love me. Those I need and need me. We make a beautiful song together and we sing to the Universe and we are complete together. If the path to enlightenment is alone, I will not pass. I give up the ultimate truth. I am whole with My Beloved! I do not seek for myself. I will walk with her into heaven or oblivion. I have found the greatest treasure and I will not let anything tear us apart. My heart sings with the Universe. These are my praises. These are my feelings from the deep waters. I will wait for her and be patient. I will walk with her into our future. We are the end of a a long line of choices to this moment, a reflection from the past, and we echo together into the future, to where I do not know. I am not meant to know those things. I live out loud with my heart for all to see. Exposed, I am a fraud. This is all I know. I am a babbling fool. I have no reputation. But I am not lost. This is all I want to live for in Love with her in the Light of the Universe and sing our praises. I have everything I need. There are many songs, this is mine and my generation’s. We feel the Universe calling.

So dip yourself in refreshing eternal waters. If you don’t have joy, you are a liar and have no Truth. God is a trickster. I will Live out my offering in Love with community and My Beloved. That’s the only Truth I need. The Universe sings and this is my song, our heartsong. I have never felt such bliss and peace. Be still indeed.

My generation and all will join in the sun and sing with the Universe and we will crash across the world Holy, Righteous, Purified, Broken, on our knees, yielded. We are the Bulwark of Creation! The toughest stuff in the Universe. We can take it. We see the signs. We raise our voices together from the deep. All of Creation cries out ENOUGH! It is finished! We will die gladly and be born again to see our Truth spread across the Universe!

I chose this reality I described. I chose to move without thinking. Where we are heading I do not know. But I know how to live to find it. I will face the end of time or the end of this world in Love with the people God brought me to and those I am connected with. There is purpose here.

Be refreshed
Be still
Come drink from the water that always flows and quenches
Lay down your burdens
Be at peace
I AM AND YOU ARE ALL IN ME
Have faith
Love the one to your left and right
You are Loved

I am not aGNOSTIC! I Believe! I am not hedging my bets! I am ALL IN!

Nothing More To Learn

This is the beginning of Truth
Truth does not care what you think
Be still and you will hear
Walk as a babbling fool
Cast yourself into the deep waters of the soul
Move without knowing or thinking
You will never fully know anything

As many things in nature
There are layers upon layers
You must earn your entry in
You can not conquer
That way always leads to destruction
Universes curled up as small as a cell
What do you know
Humble yourself and enter in

You must make a leap of the heart
This is the death of the mind
Accept it
Yield to it
And you will be reborn
Ignite